Audrey Donnell Coaching & Consulting

View Original

Be a boss

Most high performers I know don’t actually see for themselves how amazing they are.

It’s part of what drives them, this need to achieve, without taking more than eight seconds to acknowledge their accomplishments before they move on to the next challenge.

They may have a general sense that they bring important skills to bear, and they may even know where their true genius lies, but they don’t own it.

There is a difference between knowing and owning. 

When you know where your genius lies but don’t own it, you lack conviction and authority. 

While it may seem like you’re being humble, you’re actually being selfish, because you are withholding your genius in the most important moments where it is needed. 

genius + knowing = lack of conviction (and possibly not bringing all you have)

When you show up and own your genius, you know that only you can bring what is needed in a certain situation. 

There is a magical convergence of the need at hand and what you have to offer.

When you own your genius, you bring that boss energy that is needed.

genius + owning = being a boss (and bringing your magic to the problem at hand)

Photo by Alexas Fotos

So what’s keeping you from being a boss? See if any of these fit.

1. You don’t want to be too big for your britches. 

When you were young, you received the message that somehow you were too much, and needed to stay small to make others around you feel comfortable.

The antidote: recognize the story for what it is. You are wonderful and amazing just the way you are, and someone else projected their own insecurities onto you. You can create a new story for yourself, one that honors the uniqueness of who you are and what you bring. And own it!

2. You feel like an imposter, like you’ll be found out.

Imposter syndrome is so commonplace it has its own name. It's a phenomenon where your mind doubts your skills, talents, or qualifications. It occurs in high achievers who are unable to internalize and accept their successes.

The antidote: You can’t argue with facts. Make a list of all your accomplishments, and when you think you’ve reached the end, think of one more. And maybe one more beyond that. And then allow yourself to feel the pride of your successes. And sit with that feeling a little longer than feels comfortable.

3. You are chasing perfection.

Most high performers don’t spend much time celebrating their successes and are constantly looking for ways to improve. There is an inner critic that is strong that is always saying how you could be better. This critic was likely modeled for you when you were a young person. 

The antidote: Perfection is a myth. It’s not attainable and, therefore, it is demoralizing. And it is the enemy of progress. Perfectionism is rooted in fear. It is constantly worried what others think.

Instead of focusing on perfection, try focusing on excellence. Excellence involves having a razor-sharp focus to execute and accomplish what matters and what needs to get done. Excellence is how you apply yourself. Stay focused on your purpose, on why you are needed.

I know there is a situation you are facing that needs you to be a boss, to own your genius, and bring it to the problem at hand.

You’ve got this. In fact, you were made for this moment. Go for it!


Love,

Audrey