There is a certain ethos to living in the modern, western world, that places a huge emphasis on performance.

There’s nothing wrong with performance. It’s how we know what impact we are making in the world.

But often, this emphasis on achievement and accomplishment comes at a cost.

The message we are raised with is that you need to push past the pain or discomfort and white knuckle you way through life.

If you work hard enough, you’ll eventually get there.

Sound familiar?

Except where is there, anyway?

Steven Covey said the problem with climbing the ladder of success is that you reach the top only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall.

You have the wrong definition of success.

You think that the way the world defines success will bring happiness. If that were true, there wouldn’t be so many unhappy millionaires.

There comes a point for each person in their professional journey where you realize that what got you here won’t get you there.

The strategies of pushing harder, ignoring your emotions and body’s signals, having a harsh self-critic, and being driven by a list of “shoulds” begins to catch up.

Because the ethos of performance has in many cases cut you off from your inner world, I can say with certainty that going inward and cultivating self-compassion is the secret key to unlocking true happiness, a sense of fulfillment, and achieving a new kind of success.

How do you know if your ladder of success is leaning against the wrong wall?

Time for a self inventory. How would you respond to the following questions:

1. What is your view of rest?

2. How do you tend to your emotions when they surface?

3. What do you do when your body sends you a signal to slow down?

4. How much time do you take to be alone with yourself?

5. When you are still, are you able to settle your mind?

6. Where does your strength come from?

7. Do you lead with self-compassion or with shame and self-flagellation? (how often do you say “what is wrong with me?”)

Conventional views of success hold a false promise of fulfillment. And often with it comes the sentiment, “you’ll be happy when…” causing you to strive for more.

It’s only when you turn toward self-compassion and begin reconnecting with your inner world that a new definition of success can emerge. One that brings freedom, peace, and deep satisfaction with life. You move away from striving and into a place of thriving.

And the biggest surprise of all? Living out of a place of self-compassion will propel you further than you could imagine, and increase your ability to make an impact in the world.

Where are you on the ladder of success? And what wall is your ladder leaning against?

Love,

Audrey