I used to be a big fan of personality assessments. Whether it’s MBTI or the Enneagram or some other assessment, they can provide tremendous insight into who you are and what makes you tick. 

They all come with the same provisional statement: that you don’t use them to put yourself in a box or make excuses—”that’s just the way I am.”

The only problem is most people don’t pay attention to that warning, and they do exactly that—create a box for themselves using their personality type. 

You hear it all the time. “I’m an extrovert,” or “I’m an INFJ,” or whatever the type is. As if it were this fixed thing that defines you your entire life.

This mindset doesn’t allow you the space to change, or the space for others to change. 

The word, “personality,” comes from an ancient greek word, “prosopon,” which means mask, as in the masks used by actors in Greek theatre.

It is a reference to what is perceived or the way you appear in front of others. 

Etymologically, the word “personality” literally means “mask.” It is made up.

Your personality has been shaped by your relationships, social roles, and life experiences. And you can change it.

Cognitive neuroscientist, Christian Jarrett, has researched personality for two decades and says personality is not fixed. 

Longitudinal studies that have followed the same people over many decades have shown that our personality traits, in fact, continue to change all the way through life. 

That doesn’t mean that personality is meaningless—there is a thread of continuity—but it isn’t fixed. 

As the psychologist Simine Vazire put it, when it comes to personality, “There is plenty to hold onto and plenty we can change.”

And as we grow and evolve throughout our life, we are becoming our future self, which is the truest version of ourselves.

Jarrett says, “you are not defined or limited by your past.” This is a relief, really. We are free to choose every day who we want to be. 

Research studies that have monitored people’s feelings of authenticity have shown that we feel most “real” or true to ourselves when we’re acting in accordance with our so-called ideal selves (the kind of person we aspire to be) rather than in accordance with our actual selves (as measured by our current personality trait profile).

The next time you are facing a challenge or something that feels impossible, put on a new mask.

As yourself, “What would ______ do?” [Insert the name of one of your heroes or someone you admire.]

Then do that. 

Love,

Audrey