Permission to dream

High performers achieve high levels of success for a number of reasons. They work with excellence. They are sharp learners. They know how to bring their skills to meet a need. They deliver results over and over. They create impact.

High performers reap certain rewards. Promotion, salary increases, bonuses, recognition, titles, influence.

And, at a certain point, something shifts for them. There is a growing sense of dissatisfaction with the way things are. The rewards are no longer motivating. Something internal begins to beckon.

At this point, high performers realize that what got them to their current level of success isn’t going to get them to their next level of success.

High performers are craving a new way of being in the world.

Something a little more on their own terms, not because they’re being selfish, but because they know deep down they are the only ones who can create the life they want. No amount of outstanding performance in the world will do this for them.

But then they realize they have no model for how to do this. All their role models before them followed the path of burnout, stagnation, selling out, or dramatically changing their career.

High performers need permission.

Permission to dream. Permission to imagine new possibilities. Permission to bring their unique selves to their leadership roles. Permission to break out of their current status quo and trailblaze a new approach. Permission to be free. Permission to be boundaried, because let’s face it, high performers often say “yes” to people or projects at work at the expense of their own well-being.

Photo by Yohann Lc

Permission granted!

“Okay great,” you say, “I tried dreaming, but I can’t. I don’t know how. Now what?”

Now we have to discuss what gets in the way of dreaming, of creating a new way of being in the world.

See if one or more of these resonate with you.

1. Old Stories

If you look back over your life, you might have had someone in your life give you a message, explicit or implicit, that what you wanted was too big or too bold or too ridiculous. It is likely that this person had no idea that this would stay with you. But it did, and you stopped asking, stopped dreaming, and stopped imagining possibilities other than what seemed like an average life.

2. Either/Or Thinking

You think that you can have either this or that, either the exciting career or the work/life balance you want, either the salary or the work that lights you up, and they are mutually exclusive. You don’t see a way to have both/and. 

3. Listening to others more than yourself

The voices of other people in your life have drowned out your own sense of self. You have forgotten what makes you feel alive, you aren’t in touch with your values, and you have lost a sense of purpose. Meeting someone else’s requirements or following someone else’s agenda is what dominates your days.

4. Stuck in the overwhelm of the day-to-day

The pace at work is so demanding and the workload is so overwhelming that you are in complete survival mode. You are putting out fires on the regular and barely keeping your head above water. Who has time to dream when there’s a fire to put out?

5. Not knowing you can own your point of view

You are a genius at excelling at work and then one day find yourself in a leadership role, but with zero equipping on how to be a leader. All you have are the examples that came before you, but none of that feels authentic to who you are as a person. You have no idea that your point of view matters and is the very thing that differentiates you from all the rest.

6. Outshining others

You grew up in a family that had an unspoken message to you that if you shine too much, you’ll make others look or feel bad. Anytime you feel a longing for something more, you stop yourself from pursuing it because you don’t want to shine too much.

7. Staying comfortable

You have progressed in your career through your hard work but avoid the risk that comes along with putting a stake in the ground and creating a vision for yourself. It’s easier just to maintain the status quo than lean into the edge that would cause you to truly stand out as a leader.

What is standing in your way of dreaming bigger than you’ve ever dreamed before, and what are you going to do about it?

I’d love to know.