What makes you feel alive?
Each one of us has a superpower. It is the ability for a desire to arise within you that points you toward what makes you feel alive. It is part of what comprises your internal compass, your inner knowing.
Desires are your most potent energy source.
They are far more powerful than goals, because they come from within.
Like motivation, desire is a force that propels you. Like motivation, you don’t choose it. It chooses you.
However, it is quite likely that in your cultural upbringing, your ability to identify and name your desires dwindled, if not fully ceased.
What do you do if you can’t name your desires? Let’s explore.
Notice what frustrates you.
Behind every frustration is a desire. Not happy about an issue with a manager? What is it you want instead? Something in a relationship bugging you? Turn it around, what is the desire there?
What makes you angry?
Anger is such a beautiful emotion, because it almost always points us toward something that is noble and good. If you explore the depths of your anger, you will find a desire waiting to emerge.
Where do you feel fear?
Fear is a mask for desire. Unless your life is in physical danger, the feelings associated with fear—heart racing, breath quickening, gaze narrowing—are the same feelings you experience when you are excited. Feel the fear and move through it. Take a step toward your desire.
Are you starting to feel a connection to a desire within? I hope so.
Photo by Daniel Mirlea
Now that you have located a desire, what do you do with it?
You can make a request.
Because we are interconnected people, we often need to work with others to fulfill our desires.
Asking can sometimes feel impossible. It can make you feel needy, entitled, greedy, bossy, the list goes on.
And yet when you ask someone in your life to help you fulfill your desire, you extend them the opportunity to play a new role in your life. It’s not a guarantee they will say yes, but when they do, they are happy to be asked.
When you are deeply connected to the desire within, making a request becomes easier.
Asking can even become a practice. You can build the skill of asking.
Maybe you have a vision for a new direction at work but feel nervous about approaching your boss. Connect with your desire, and ask for a meeting with your boss.
Maybe a relationship has been frustrating you for some time. Connect with your desire, and invite the other person to fill a new role in your life.
Maybe your colleague is connected to someone you admire and want to meet. Connect with your desire, and ask for an introduction.
Get out of your own way.
There are a thousand different reasons you can get in the way of pursuing your desires. You didn’t come into the world like this. A baby will do what it takes to get what she needs. But as you make your way through the world, others’ expectations, rules, and limitations are placed on you. And it can be hard to shed them.
Curiosity can be a real friend in times like these. If you sense you are getting in your own way of pursuing your desires, what is that all about? Where did those ideas come from? Who said you can’t have what you want?
Realizing that these blocks don’t serve you, didn’t originate from you, and rather that you have picked them up along the way, can help you experience a newfound freedom to release them.
Your internal compass is meant to guide you. Listen deeply and recover your ability to name and honor your desires.
Love,
Audrey
