Stop fighting for your limitations
Whenever I have a conversation with someone who has a dream for a new career path, or even the possibility of something different from the status quo, they almost always try to convince me why it isn’t possible.
And I don’t buy it.
You see, they are fighting for their limitations. And I’m in the business of helping my clients fight for their dreams and live a created life.
Most people would rather fight for their limitations than fight for their dreams.
What is behind this? Here’s what I notice when you’re fighting for your limitations:
1. You are letting fear stop you.
Brain wiring inherited from our ancestors over millenia on the planet has taught us that fear will keep us alive. Although it may help you survive, it doesn’t allow you to thrive. When you feel fear, your life is likely not in real danger, but your brain perceives danger. Once you can acknowledge that the danger is perceived and not real, then you can see it for what it is—a safety reflex—and move through it.
Fear is a mask for desire. Just on the other side of fear is your desire. Keep taking steps forward to move through fear and toward desire.
2. You think what you do overshadows who you be in the world. It doesn’t.
If you think that what’s ahead is a far reach from the work you currently do, perhaps even completely unrelated, you are missing the biggest puzzle piece: YOU. You are not alone in this. Most of the world looks at lists of skills, qualifications, credentials, and experience when evaluating candidates. However studies show that experience is a poor predictor of success in a future role. What is a much better predictor of success is past performance. You can articulate who you be in the world through the language of past performance. You showed up a certain way (bringing your beliefs and what energizes you) and you created certain outcomes because of that.
Your skills are part of the equation, but not the whole equation.
The whole equation looks like this: SKILLSET + MINDSET (beliefs) + ENERGY (what energizes you) = OUTCOMES.
Who you be in the world has been with you your whole life, and you need to draw out your throughline (or have someone do this for you) in order to see how the unique way you show up in the world has caused you to have the impact you have made.
3. You feel Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is so commonplace it has its own name. It's a phenomenon where your mind doubts your skills, talents, or qualifications. It occurs in high achievers who are unable to internalize and accept their successes.
Rather than trying to get rid of imposter syndrome, I think you should get good at it.
Imposter syndrome is a sign that you are playing a big game and not staying comfortable. You are stretching yourself and daring that you can take a chance and succeed. Treat the feeling of imposter syndrome as an indicator that you’re in the right place.
4. You have decades of conditioning around limitations. Simply put, no one taught you how to live a created life.
In another article I wrote, called “Permission to Dream,” I outline seven factors that keep you from dreaming. A lot of the reasons you live comfortably within the confines of your limitations is because that is what was modeled for you or expected of you by others. If you were too eager, too ambitious, too optimistic, too excited, or too hopeful, someone else felt threatened by you. So you learned to play it safe and stay small.
Photo by Greg Rakozy
A Created Life
Living a created life means fighting for your dreams.
It means risking what others think of you.
It means being willing to transcend the limiting beliefs that arise as you move forward.
It requires commitment, playing full out, being all in.
It isn’t for the faint of heart.
It is bold, audacious, and unconventional.
What are you willing to fight for?
Love,
Audrey
