In boxing, athletes can either be on the offensive or the defensive.

Going on the offensive and throwing punches, however, takes a lot of energy and is not a great strategy to last thoughout the fight.

In order to conserve energy, boxers go on the defensive and use controlled energy to avoid strikes.

However, the opposite is true when it comes to a different kind of fight.

I’m talking about fighting for what you want vs. fighting for what you don’t want.

Let’s look at a few examples.

1. Stage fright.

   No one likes stage fright. Feeling nervous in front of a group of people is quite a normal experience, and yet no one enjoys it.

   But rather than putting your energy into not feeling nervous—fighting against—you should put your energy into what you want to fight for.

   Why are you standing on that stage in the first place? Connect with your purpose, your reason for having something to say.

   When you can connect deeply to your why, you begin to fight for why you’re there.

   Not only does this require less energy than trying to resist your nerves, it actually generates energy and causes you to bring incredibly powerful presence.

2. An argument with someone.

   So often in an argument, you fixate on what it is you don’t want. You’re fighting against.

   What is more rare, but far more powerful, is to locate what it is you do want, and to fight for that.

   What’s so miraculous about conflict, though, is that you can also help locate what it is the other person wants, and you can help them fight for their priorities as well.

   Most people approach these kinds of differences as a win-lose proposition, but I maintain that it can be a beautiful win-win encounter where the relationship is strengthened and a creative solution is discovered because of the new focus on helping both people get their needs met.

3. Pursuing your dreams.

   You may have had the experience of having a dream of some possible future for you, and then immediately being overcome by doubt, fear, or some reason why you shouldn’t pursue your dream. (It’s too big, too bold, too ridiculous, etc.)

   You begin to focus on your fear or doubt, and it seems to grow.

   Then you may even begin to fight against the fear or doubt, sort of dismissing them as not helpful.

   The problem with that approach is the fear or doubt won’t actually go away, precisely because you’re ignoring them.

   A far more effective strategy is to connect deeply with your dream or desire.

   There is a reason it is with you.

   And then you can fight for it. It becomes a force that pulls you forward, and allows you to feel the fear or doubt and move toward your dream or desire.

   You effectively summon the energy that is required to do impossible things.

   You may even tap into the mama bear effect - where you can do things that seem impossible because of your singular focus on pursuing them.

So what are you willing to fight for?

And what is the first tiny step you will take to pursue it?

Love,

Audrey