What do you need to recover?
What most people get wrong about the process of moving from childhood to adulthood is that children start as empty vessels waiting to be filled with knowledge and instruction.
Children are, in fact, born with certain capabilities already in place that often get overlooked.
And you might be in a place in your adult life where you need to recover some of the abilities that were with you from the beginning.
Let me help you remember.
1. You can trust yourself.
You came into this world with all the wiring you need to trust yourself. You had a self-regulation system that knew when you were hungry, when you were full, and when you needed to sleep.
What happened to you that you lost this trust in yourself? You have an internal compass that will guide you throughout your life. If you listen deeply, your body will give you important signals that will help you eat the right amount, sleep the right amount, get the right amount of movement and exercise, and this same compass will help you put boundaries in the right places with others, learn what you need to, and make sound decisions.
Trust yourself.
2. Failure brings you closer to success.
When you learned to walk, you fell down many, many, many times. And you got back up and kept trying. You never thought, “I can’t do this.” You just kept doing it until it became natural.
It seems you may have forgotten this. You may have a fear of failure, of falling down. Remember, failure is part of the process. In fact, it’s the only way you will succeed.
Keep trying. You’ve got this.
Photo by Jordan Christian
3. Take time to process and integrate. Full stop.
You slept 15-18 hours a day as a baby, because your brain was forming hundreds of millions of synapses each second that helped you process what you were learning. While you slept, connections between the right and left hemispheres of you brain were formed. You stored memories and categorized information while you slept.
You need sleep now too, and you need white space—time when you aren’t working. Your creativity and emotional resilience are impacted by your sleep. Your ability to form new neural pathways requires you to be well rested and have white space to think and process. You can do this by going for a walk, doing your favorite exercise workout, or lying under a tree watching the clouds.
Don’t ignore your need for rest and white space. I promise it will yield returns in creativity, new ideas, and insights.
4. Don’t ignore your needs.
You knew when you were hungry, when you were tired, when you had a dirty diaper, and when you needed to be held. And you communicated your needs to your parents so they could help you meet them.
Do you sometimes ignoreyour needs, because your work is so demanding or you think you have to sacrifice your needs for others?
You younger self wouldn’t dream of suffering silently, of not making your needs known. You wouldn’t have survive.
You won’t either as an adult. Remember how to tune into your needs and start meeting them.
5. Guard your concentration at all costs.
When you were young and you focused on something, your brain was lit up with new connections. You could focus on the leaves of the tree, the mobile in your room, or even your own reflection in the mirror for longer than you might think. When you concentrated, you were learning how the world works, increasing your energy and mental capacities, and building self-mastery.
As an adult, you can concentrate for up to two hours before needing a break. Guard this concentration. Precious circuitry is being formed in your brain. Set up your environment to minimize disruptions. Go deep. Build mastery.
6. Stay curious.
Curiosity was the most natural thing in the world when you were first born. You were fascinated by the world. Your curiosity led you to explore your surroundings, how relationships work, and how the world works.
Curiosity can be replaced by judgment. Don’t let this happen to you. If it already has, you can remedy it. Remember how to be curious. Stay open to new learning. It is your life-line.
Love,
Audrey
