Have you stopped trying?

I think one of the most dangerous of human tendencies is that of resignation.

The Latin word resignāre means to give up.

Prior to giving up is implied that there was once an effort made to try for something.

And this effort, this trying, this willingness to be a contribution, is one of the most beautiful human traits.

And for some people, something happens, usually over time, that causes you to stop trying.

I see it as a death.

Death to hope.

Death to the belief that you can be a catalyst for change.

Death to part of the human spirit.

And the problem is that it’s hard to compartmentalize resignation.

It almost always spills over from one area of your life into other areas.

When this happens you become resigned, as if it is a large part of your identity.

If you can relate to this, keep going.

You know I can’t leave you like this.

So, picture for a moment, a time in your life where you did have that hope, and a belief in change.

Who were you being?

How did you bring possibilities into view?

My guess is there was a part of you that was hurt when the change you hoped for didn’t happen.

And that hurt part didn’t want to continue to experience repeat occurrences of pain, so it stopped trying.

With a gentle process of compassionate inquiry, you can begin to listen for beliefs you may have formed.

Beliefs like, “I am powerless,” or “nothing will ever change.”

Once you uncover these beliefs, you can apply Byron Katie’s 4 questions:

Question 1: Is it true?

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true?

Question 3: What happens when you believe that thought?

Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?

The fourth question is paramount and shouldn’t be skipped.

It is in the fourth question that you can begin to recover a part of yourself that has been shut down.

The part that can see possibilities and maybe even be open to change.

After some experimentation being open to change, then you could turn up the heat and even start experimenting with being the change.

Photo by Simon Migaj on Pexels

What is the outcome you want to see?

Then ask yourself “what type of person is able to create that outcome?”

Then be that person.

You don’t have to stay stuck in resignation.

You can move back into a place of hope.

You can allow curiosity to take the lead, because curiosity can ask, “I wonder what would happen if we try again?”

Love,

Audrey